When I was growing up, my mum always used to tell me to stop wishing my life away. Yet here I am at 54, still restless and unsettled and uneasy with my lot overall, still wishing hard for so many things to be different.
Exploring what I would like to change is both simple yet complex, but I suppose at the heart of it all what I would like is to be in a place in life that feels like my own clear-cut choice all the way down the line rather than the rambling result of critical circumstance and creative compromise.
In an ideal world we would like to be living a lot closer to the people we love most in a forever home of our own choosing, and although my husband and I are trying our hardest to recreate that shared dream as a potential reality for our future, I can’t help but wish it could all come a lot sooner than current circumstances allow.
The trouble is that all too often in life we either make the wrong decisions for the right reasons or the right decisions for all the wrong reasons and both can inevitably confuse any underlying issues at hand, sending us off at such troublesome tangents, causing delays down dead ends or finding us fretting frustratingly over which fork in the road to take.
Life may be chronological but it is not necessarily linear, so while my wishes race ahead in a straight line from A to B with focus firmly fixed, reality inches along slowly in comparison, subject to several sloth-like speed limits along the way and derailed indiscriminately by dozens of diversions and deviations that never cease to drive me to distraction…
I do know we’ll get there eventually, but oh, how I wish it would all just hurry up and sort itself out! 🙂