All my life I’ve struggled on and off with depression. My first blog was, in fact, an exercise in giving myself a voice, a way of talking openly about it, and to begin with it felt truly liberating. But all too soon feeling obliged to voice my pain so regularly became nothing more than a stressful chore and I yearned to choose silence again, so once my blog became a millstone around my neck I quietly withdrew, and that was that.
My second blog was an attempt to move beyond a depression-based narrative, but still I found I focused too much on my melancholic misery, so that blog, too, soon hit the buffers. My third blog was a deliberate move away from navel-gazing, focusing mainly on poetry and photography, but eventually that tack floundered too.
So here I am on my fourth blog, trying hard not to inflict my affliction on you all in my virtual world while still allowing for the ebb and flow of emotional floods and droughts. Here I try to keep my creative channels open as far as possible and avoid posting the worst of my laments and dirges, however low and down I feel.
Sometimes that works, and sometimes it doesn’t, so thank you all for sticking by me through my successes and my silences, it’s very much appreciated 🙂