Trick Cyclists and Other Balancing Acts

No idea where I’m going with this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday post with the prompt word of ‘trick’ other than steering well clear of all things Halloween.

I also have no idea why we Brits use the rather derogatory slang term ‘trick cyclist’ to refer to a Psychiatrist, but we do! I could always look it up on the internet but where’s the fun in that? Anyway, suffice to say I’ve seen a couple of Trick Cyclists in my time and both have been perfectly non-tricky. Nice guys (not being sexist here – both Psychiatrists whose care I have been under were actually male) who clearly acted and advised with concern and my best interests at heart. Definitely much appreciated.

Sadly I can’t say the same for all the Psychotherapists I’ve seen though – the last one clearly had a narrow agenda all of her own and on our last meeting where I sat silent for the entire hour with tears running down my face in sheer frustration because everything I had said previously had been twisted to suit her preferred pathway of thought, I decided enough was enough and I wasn’t ever going back. It still smarts when I think of it, years later, to have felt so disempowered and disenfranchised and tied up in tight knots by someone who was supposed to be helping me loosen and unravel my long-term mental health issues.

Trying to stabilise and level out my own psychological problems does sometimes feel like a bit of a balancing act though – here I am right now feeling caught in the spotlight of my very own personal circus ring, the rest of the world looking on as I struggle to stay upright and show that I really can do this life thing, watching me fly my freak flag high and keep my multiple plates spinning while constantly adjusting my balance on my rickety old unicycle. A collective sharp intake of breath from the front row as the world watches me fall, then exhales in relief as I pick myself up, dust myself off and get straight back on again.

So these days I am basically my own trick cyclist, allowing everyone else to be able to mutter gratefully under their breath ‘Not my circus, not my monkeys’ as they leave the tent reassured that thankfully I have finally found the ability to keep my own show on the road and my melancholic monkey-mind under some semblance of control – for now at least… 🙂

10 thoughts on “Trick Cyclists and Other Balancing Acts

  1. I’d never heard trick cyclist before but might just use it myself. Somehow less stigma since people around these parts won’t know off the bat what I’m talking about. Sorry about your experience with that psychotherapist. Shameful they would do that.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Very true. When trying to find someone for my daughter, we had three horror stories right off the bat. Then she found an angel. With all that’s going on with her, I wish she’d start talking again. But of course that’s not for me to decide.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Sometimes talking and finding a voice is empowering, but sometimes deliberately not talking about how we feel helps too – the important thing is to have the choice to decide for ourselves which matters most to us at any given time. Sending big hugs to you and your daughter ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Thank you Ruth. You’re so right. I’ve come to learn rather belatedly we all deal in our own way. Her way of coping is much different than mine. Thanks for the hugs 🤗 right back to you.

        Liked by 1 person

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