Up and Down

I’ve been feeling really up and down again this past week.

After my second dose of the Covid vaccine a couple of weeks ago I was delighted to find that after a good five months my sense of taste had pretty much fully returned and my excessive breathlessness was much better – two of my main Long Covid symptoms – so that was a definite ‘up’ moment, a real high for a few days. But I soon discovered that even though I’m breathing better I’m still finding ongoing fatigue a problem, I still seem to get a lot of headaches and my leftover cough isn’t improving either so that’s been a bit of a ‘down’ realisation.

So overall I’ve been feeling a lot better than I have done all year, but still not really fully back to normal.

And now I seem to have caught a cold so my sense of smell and taste is once more drastically reduced and my chest is starting to feel really tight and wheezy again, so I’m feeling really miserable and anxious. Part of me feels it’s definitely just a cold and it will all pass soon enough, but part of me is worried it’s maybe another big dip on the seemingly never-ending Long Covid roller-coaster ride – I’ve not felt well enough for long enough to be sure my symptoms are really gone for good or just teasing me, waiting for me to relax before pouncing on me again.

I must admit it gets me down, the not knowing. The how-long-is-a-piece-of-string-ness of it all. Nearly six months ago I caught Covid, luckily I wasn’t ever that sick and so thankfully I didn’t die. But somehow it’s still there in the background, niggling away, bothering me. I try to stay as positive as I can and push myself to do a bit more every day but it’s really knocked my confidence to not be able to trust myself energy-wise. I still get far too tired far too quickly and that makes me feel old before my time.

So as I said I’ve been feeling a bit up and down this week… 😦

Stream of Consciousness Saturday: Up/ Down

8 thoughts on “Up and Down

  1. I get the up, and down. I am going through the acceptance of my new body since my breast cancer. Some days I feel great. Others I don’t feel so hot. Some days I feel an immense amount of energy, and others I feel none. I went through 3 surgeries in 2020. My last in December. I am so push myself for the feeling good, but I am human. It doesn’t always happen that way. Blessings to you as you go through life. ❤️☺️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ruth, I was just like you, I thought I was over it, then out of the blue I became fatigued all over again. No cough, just a bit breathless and I was falling asleep by mid-morning and not just a short nap! It’s different from anything else isn’t it, it’s the unmistakable aura that accompanies it.
    It passed after a couple of days but like you I’m wondering if I’ll ever feel 100% well ever again. I hope you feel better soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It reminds me of the way morning sickness was a very specific type of nausea (well it was for me) or menopausal hormone headaches felt so different from ‘ordinary’ tension headaches… You’re so right, Long Covid symptoms have an intensity and aura all of their own… But hopefully not forever – we’ll get there! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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