Yeah I know it’s another flat dull image but to be fair to my camera it’s another cloudy, damp, dull day in my back garden – thankfully the rain has stopped at least, and I’m delighted to report my yellow lily has survived the thunderstorms of the last few days 🙂
Fandango asks an interesting Provocative Question this week – he asks:-
Do you feel that people are more attracted to one another by their differences or by their commonalities? And why do you feel that way?
Looking at my own relationship with my husband, which so far has lasted for 48 years as friends, 21 as a couple, and 9 years married (concurrent, of course!), my answer is – both, in equal measure.
Starting with our differences, ooh, there are so many! My husband is a gregarious American by birth and heritage, I’m self-consciously quiet with understated British reserve. My husband is an extroverted night-owl, I’m more introverted and usually up with the lark. My husband is tidily organised in all things; order and method are his watch-words. With him quality over quantity wins every time, he’s a real perfectionist always. He’s always excellent at finding the exact right size of dish in which to store leftovers but has absolutely no natural sense of direction.
And me? Well I’m not a total disaster in the tidiness stakes, just not a neat-freak in any sense; I’m far more comfortable living with a little creative chaos and in most things ‘good enough’ is good enough for me. I’m totally rubbish at judging small volumes or areas but nevertheless have an excellent perception of larger-scale distances and directions. We joke with each other that as a couple we’re complete complementary opposites and often call ourselves ‘Fusspot and Clart’ – my husband works hard always to keep things ‘just so’, whereas I’m definitely more slapdash and messy in my approach to anything and everything.
Our similarities, though, although far fewer when listed on paper are nevertheless just as important to point out. Looking from the outside in, physically we are of similar height and build (short and stocky), and both look young for our ages (as in other people are usually surprised to hear how old we are), so in all practical ways we fit together well as a couple. We’re both first-born children of young parents, and were both brought up with a strong work ethic. We’re of similar ages and are both educated to degree level, achieved under our own steam as mature students.
We both have had our struggles with ongoing mental health issues over a lifetime so are able to provide each other with much-appreciated mutual understanding and support at all times. Our political views and values match closely, as do our moral standpoints, and our attitudes to money and family and friendship and the importance of looking after the planet are really closely attuned. We are both natural home birds at heart rather than party animals, both enjoy preparing and eating good fresh-cooked food, and both love spending time in nature.
So although on the surface we may have many differences, deep down the fact that we share the values and attitudes in life that matter most to us means that overall we both keep each other on our toes like any other antagonistic pair in nature, yet at the same time feel wonderfully safe and secure in our lives together. For me it’s the perfect combination of give and take, of similarity and difference, and to be honest I wouldn’t change any of it for the world ❤
After a few weeks of gloriously sunny weather my yellow lily chose this dull morning of all days to flower – so I took a quick pic just before the thunderstorm hit, and it is currently being soaked by pelting rain… And the weather forecast remains potentially stormy for the next three days, so hopefully my lily survives its serial soaking – Oh well! 🙂
My biggest reasons to smile this last week or so include:-
My husband has recently turned 60, so we had a lovely little family celebration with colourful balloons and banners and traditional birthday party finger food – sandwiches, sausage rolls, crisps and other savoury nibbles, followed by chocolate cake with six candles (one for each decade). What fun!
My son came to visit for an extended long weekend that included being here for the birthday celebrations – due to ongoing Covid restrictions across the country this is the first time we’ve managed to meet up this year, and it was so wonderful to see him again. Hopefully it won’t be so long before our next reunion ❤
The new bed we’d ordered was delivered last week, and oh, it’s sooo… comfortable to sleep on. Although I don’t always sleep too well so it’s probably just as accurate to say it’s sooo… comfortable to lie awake on in the middle of the night! 🙂
More red roses from my garden for today’s Flower of the Day 🙂
The foolish things I regret most in life are those things I did not do for fear of looking foolish to others.
Things I perhaps wanted to do but instead I hesitated, waited, avoided, and lost the opportunity. So I would watch others enjoy the moment, not looking foolish at all but looking like they were not afraid to have fun, laughing at themselves, being silly together and not having a care in the world. And inevitably I would end up feeling foolish anyway for not joining in, hovering self-consciously on the periphery feeling frustrated at myself.
Too many years and too many lost opportunities. Too many regrets. So the last time the opportunity arose to do something I wanted to do – something foolish, but fun – I did it! At the end of the last carefree summer before the pandemic hit my husband and I we were walking along Nairn beach with my son and his friend when I asked – Oh, is the zip-wire thing still there? You used to love that when you were kids… Yes, said my son’s friend, it’s still there… Do you fancy having a go? I’d love to, I said, without hesitation…
So I did. In a public place, with other people around, I climbed carefully onto the platform, tucked the little seat thing between my thighs with trepidation, and with a serious push off my feet launched myself across the divide towards the other side. I zipped across in no time at all, holding my legs out straight in front of me, swinging wildly and clinging on for dear life and laughing so hard I could hardly see. I hit the stop buffer at the other end and started to swing back. Eventually I came to a standstill, then pretty much fell off onto the ground about a foot below my bum.
We all had a go. More than once. Four adults, two in their fifties and two in their thirties, taking turns to try to go faster, further, encouraging each other to be even more daring, focusing on having fun and to hell with looking foolish. Occasionally other adults walked past, slowing down or sometimes stopping to watch, smiling at our high jinks. We stayed playing until a group of children appeared, keen to have a go too, then we left them to it.
It was huge fun, and for once there were no regrets. None. I was stiff as a board the next day, and the day after that, but OMG it was worth it. I’d do it again in a heartbeat, if the opportunity arose. I found out that fun trumps feelings of foolishness ever time. Every time… I just regret that it took me five decades to figure that out… 🙂
Shades of purples and pinks for today’s Flower of the Day 🙂
My garden is full of vibrant colours just now, especially the roses glowing so brightly in the summer sunshine… I’m really enjoying learning to be a good gardener, it feels like a very worthwhile partnership to be cultivating – I nurture nature and nature nurtures me ❤
Scrolling through my WordPress Reader this morning I noticed that Fandango’s One Word Challenge word prompt for today is ‘screw’… Nope, I told myself, you’re a grown-up, just don’t go there. Then I noticed that Bushboy’s Ragtag Daily Prompt word for today is ‘shag’…
Seriously guys, even at my age how can I possibly prevent myself from snickering like a teenager at the merest suggestion of writing a blog post about such silly sexual innuendo? Except of course like I said, I’m a grown-up now and so I’m just not going there… 🙂
More pink roses from my garden for this week’s Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge: Pink 🙂