A Lardy, Lumpy Bag of Wind

I do know that our perfectly natural everyday digestive processes – including eructation and flatulence – are simply an occupational hazard of being a normal functioning human being, but I have to say top to tail right now my digestive system seems to be in constant and considerable overdrive. I find even if I only drink something as innocuous as a plain glass of water I burp it up again in a very unladylike fashion – and any time I bend down suddenly, my bottom burps involuntarily too, emitting an audible little squeak of surprise at my chance change of position. It’s all quite embarrassing really…

But with a family history of bowel cancer, I’m not ignoring it, however uncomfortable it may be to talk about. Even in the relatively open-minded sexually explicit 21st Century, talk about poo is still taboo in most situations. And yet we all do it… if we eat, we must excrete. I suffer daily with bloating and discomfort and feel constant pressure in my stomach area along with a noticable change in bowel habits. And I’m overweight anyway so generally I feel like a lardy, lumpy bag of wind just now.

So as all these cumulatively annoying niggly little digestive problems have been building up for some time, inside and out, embarrassment has finally taken a back seat to enough. I’ve consulted my GP about it all, and he’s in the process of investigating. To date I’ve had my blood tested, have already had an ultrasound examination, and have both a colonoscopy and gastroscopy booked for Monday so will hopefully get to the bottom of all this soon (no pun intended!)…

Whatever it turns out to be, a serious change in diet and lifestyle from now on seems an inevitable conclusion to my current middle-aged health crisis, so I guess it’s time for a rethink and a genuine effort to sort out my ongoing emotional eating issues once and for all… 🙂

Fandango’s One Word Challenge: Natural


Difficult to Digest

I’ve been having a few consistently niggly issues with my overall digestive system over the last while, nothing drastic but concerning enough to warrant a trip to my GP last week (just incase) to have things checked out. We have a family history of bowel problems, so better safe than sorry.

Anyway, the upshot of that GP visit is that I’ve got to have my bloods taken, wait for an ultrasound appointment, and as a bit of a belt-and-braces approach I’ve also been referred to the Gastroenterology clinic at our local hospital for a potential colonoscopy to investigate further. Hmmm…

I must admit having a camera up my bum has never been high on my bucket list of desired life experiences, but what the hell – a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. Of course it might yet not come to pass (no pun intended) depending on what the consultant decides, but I must admit to feeling more than a little consternation at the prospect.

Still, my health is important and needs must, even if this particular problem does feel more than a little bit difficult to digest… But as ever I feel eternally grateful for our wonderful National Health Service, which means I may have the short-term worry of waiting a while for an initial consultation appointment, but not the long-term worry of how to pay for it all.

Fandango’s One Word Challenge: Health