Plum Bums

‘Plums are just like giant grapes with bums’

Here are just some of the ripe plums we’ve picked from the rickety old plum tree in our garden over the last couple of days – we’ve eaten some as they are, stewed some, frozen some, and given loads away to friends and family… And still they keep on coming!

PS Eldest granddaughter commented that our delicious juicy plums were just like giant grapes with bums – ha ha ha ha! 🙂

One Liner Wednesday

Old People Colours

Our five-year-old middle granddaughter has recently started school, and the other day in class she drew a lovely portrait of me in crayon with bright orange hair – her mum asked why Nanny had such brightly coloured hair in her picture and her very serious response absolutely cracked us up:-

‘Nanny’s hair has to be bright because the school doesn’t have old people colours’

Oh dear! 🙂

One Liner Wednesday

Cow Sheds and Sugar Refineries

Vacherie – is that like a sucrerie, but for vaches?

Thinking about my husband’s Cajun family hunkering down in Southern Louisiana tonight as they prepare for a sideswipe of heavy rain from Hurricane Laura as she potentially rages across the neighbouring state of Texas…

Remembering me on my last visit, driving with my father in law and seeing a road sign for a place called Vacherie and asking the immortal question ‘Vacherie… Is that like a sucrerie, but for vaches?’ He smiled, an amused look on his face, and said ‘Well yeah, I guess it kind of is…!’

My husband’s grandfather grew sugar cane on his family farm and so had a sucrerie, a small sugar refinery shed in the yard by his house, so using my basic schoolgirl French to work out the names of things I remembered sucre is sugar and vache is cow, so it followed that sucrerie and vacherie had to have some kind of link in meaning 🙂

One Liner Wednesday

Naggy Bitches R Us

‘You’re all a pack of naggy bitches today – I’m leaving, I’m not buying anything and I’m not coming back!’

Yesterday was just one of those days at work. Customers – only a small proportion of customers mind you, not all – have recently been becoming quite complacent about following some of the necessary procedures in our store that have been put in place to protect all of us from coronavirus. And oh, suffice to say these unhappy few seriously do not like being reminded to behave differently, or being corrected when they so deliberately err from what is being asked of them!

Customers cannot try on clothing in store – in most stores actually, not just in ours. Notices are up everywhere. The fitting rooms are not only closed due to the difficulties of social distancing within such a confined space but because clothing cannot be tried on anywhere, by anyone, until it has been bought and paid for. Just before I finished my shift yesterday I was walking past an older woman who was clearly trying on a jacket from a rack in the middle of the store, so I reminded her very politely that she could not try on any items of clothing in the current coronavirus climate.

She took off the jacket angrily and glared at me, picked up her own jacket and bag with a flourish, then turned on me as she walked away saying very loudly to anyone who was listening ‘You’re all a pack of naggy bitches today – I’m leaving, I’m not buying anything and I’m not coming back!’. Apparently, as I discovered afterwards, this particular customer had also just objected to being asked to stand in a particular place at the cash desk to complete the return of an item she had bought previously. Oh dear!

I just stood there momentarily with what must have been a surprised look on my face had anyone been able to see under my mask, put the offending tried-on jacket in quarantine then carried on to the end of my shift. But her comment stayed with me, and rather than upsetting me it makes me smile at the sheer childishness of it all. We’ve all had some passive-aggressive barbed comments sent our way from people who project their own personal frustrations with the global situation onto us, whose rude ignorance hears individual insult in the politest of requests for collective compliance.

There used to be a large toy retailer here in the UK called ‘Toys R Us’, and all I can think of now when I remember this customer’s comment is adapting the catchy name for our own use as a kind of badge of honour – ‘Naggy Bitches R Us’ – because if supposedly grown adults are incapable of parenting their own behaviour themselves in an appropriate manner for any given situation, then they leave all us apparently ‘naggy bitches’ of sales assistants no real option in stores but to step in to that missing spot and help do it for them… 🙂

One Liner Wednesday

Fandango’s One Word Challenge: Missing

Growing Old…

Do not regret growing older, it is a privilege denied to many’

Fandango has asked us to reflect on something that brings us joy, and considering I’ve struggled so much with ongoing depression over the years, even off the top of my head the list is surprisingly long. Family, friends, music, creativity, hobbies, homemaking, learning, loving… and it made me realise that there is so much in life to bring me joy that the longer I live, the happier I seem to feel.

So for me, the thing that brings me most joy is probably the gift of growing older. I have a fridge magnet that says ‘Do not regret growing older, it is a privilege denied to many’. It is a sobering thought, and every time I see it I am reminded of my best friend’s husband, who died in his early fifties of kidney cancer. Only six months after diagnosis he was gone, but he will never be forgotten…

Fandango’s Dog Days

One Liner Wednesday

Legendary

‘When the legend becomes fact, print the legend’

The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance

Hmmm… The trick, of course, is becoming a real legend in the first place. And in my opinion Donald Trump, despite his overblown narcissistic self-belief and blatant best efforts to distort the truth, will definitely go down in history as more of a bell-end than a legend… 🙂

One Liner Wednesday